I am a sailor reincarnated. I have been known to use the four letter F word creatively, liberally, and at times superfluously. Some of it is genetics – my mother is also a feisty cursing wordsmith. This post, however, is about a different F word.

One of the primary reasons we decided to retire several years early was to prioritize our self care. It had become nearly impossible for us to cook at home frequently, exercise consistently, live in the present, and enjoy down time decades in to our 911 career. Even at the end of a three day weekend, we didn’t feel as if we had fully recovered from the previous work week and we definitely didn’t feel excited to see “Monday” (in shift work your Monday is rarely on an actual Monday) roll around again. This affects every aspect of life, from disrupting restorative sleep to battling plunging energy levels. Managing our stress in a healthy way was proving extremely difficult.

Before we both retired, we made a promise to stop using negative language (specifically the three letter F word) to describe how we were feeling about our bodies. Even though we had become frustrated with our activity and fitness levels, we stopped saying FAT almost immediately. It may seem like a small step, but it was very important for us. It gave us permission to be happy in our skins right now and more importantly it felt actually productive in getting to the root of what we wanted to change.

We want to feel strong and capable. We want to spend more time outside. We want to walk our dogs every day. We want to improve our stamina. We want to feel balanced and know that our bodies are up to the task of what we ask them to do, even if we push them to the limit. We don’t want perfection, or a specific number on a scale, or a bench pressing record.

We have already started working on our self care and fitness goals. We have been cooking a lot more since I retired. The dogs have been out on walks much more frequently of late. We have embraced more physical activity including Yoga, Hip Hop Abs (old school Shaun T is amazing), and our Elliptical. Stagnant muscles are coming alive again. Our energy and spirits are rising, it seems easier to smile and laugh and let small things go. We still face hurdles and complications, but they seem easier to scale without feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.